Author : MAMAN MAAMA Category : African Stories & Novels
da mugun ji da mugun gani, rabuwa da miji irin Umar ai ba karamin mugun ji da mugun gani bane ba. Duk da dai bansan abinda ya hada ku ba har kika yanke shawarar shiga duniya"
Na yi shiru ina lissafin ta inda zan fara mata sai nace "au baki san abinda ya faru ba Hajiya?" Ta gyara zama "ban sani ba, Alhaji bai gaya min komai ba kinsan halinsa babu wanda yake jin cikinsa" nace "gaskiya ya kamata ace kin sani a matsayin ki na babba a gida, to bara ni in gaya miki tunda shi bai gaya miki ba duk da na riga na gaya masa, amma matsalar shine ban san ta inda zan fara baki labari ba, shin ta abinda aka binne min a kofar falo zan fara ko kuma ta abinda ya faru sakamakon binne abin da akayi? Ko kuma dai kawai in bar labarin har sai Mammy tazo sai ta baki shi kamar yadda ta bani har kuma nayi recoding a waya ta. Ko da yake ai kin sani ma, duk da dai ba dukkan abinda ya faru kika sani ba, kin san dai shukar da kuka yi amma baki san abinda kuka girbe ba"
Tamkar dutse haka ta koma a zaune. Sai ma mike da Asad a hannuna nace "Addu'a ita ce makami na a lokacin kuma still har yanzun ita ce. Bani da hakkkin ku dan haka komai kuka yi kanku zai koma, Mammy zata tabbatar miki da haka"
Daga haka na juya na fita, feeling so happy with myself.
A ranar Aunty Afia ta zo gidan tare da Aira da Amira, sai dai ranta a bace yake da ni kuma bayan tace su Aira su bamu guri sai ta rufe ni da fada kamar yadda dama na riga na saka rai daga gareta.
"Jidda kin san mata nawa ne kuwa suke zaune da mazan da suka fi naki muni? Kuma suke hakuri basu fita sun gudu ba? Shin hakuri dama ya taba karewa ne? Akwai wadanda mijin nasu yake da irin halin naki kuma babu soyayya babu kulawa babu ci da sha da sutura, kuma suna zaune. Akwai mata da yawa a yanxu da babu abinda ba zasu bayar ba dan su samu kansu a matsayin ki, me yasa ke ba zaki rike matsayin naki ba? In kika rabu da shi yanxu wa zaki aura kenan? Ko zaki yi ta zama ne babu aure?"
Na sunkuyar da kaina ina jin ta amma ban bata amsa ba, dan bana jin zata fahimci amsar da zan bata. Wadannan matan da take magana akansu daban suke nima kuma daban nake. Rayuwar su daban tawa daban. Su sunga zasu iya ni kuma naga ba zan iya ba. Nayi iyakacin kokari na Allah ne shaida ta. Na fahimci cigaba da zama da Umar zai kaini ga halaka kuma is a very high risk to my children shi yasa nayi quiting.
Allah ya gani kuma ya sani. Kuma kullum shi nake roko ya zaba min mafi alkhairi kuma na ajiye a raina duk abinda ya taho gare ni zan dauka da ikon Allah. Idan akwai sauran zama a tsakani na da Umar dole zan koma masa, amma ko zan koma din ina so ya fahimci cewa zan iya rayuwa babu shi, happily, ya fahimci cewa zan iya rabuwa da shi. Ya fahimci cewa ina da gata na, iyayena da hukuma zasu tsaya min su kwatar min yancina in har ya cigaba da abusing dina emotionally.
A haka na kwana hudu a gidan mu tun daga asabar har zuwa laraba, a ranar Alhamis din yaya Tahir ya dawo shi kadai kamar yadda dama yace shi kadai zai dawo. Ban san wanne hali Umar yake ciki ba, naso in je in duba Baba amma na kasa tambayar Abba shi kuma ya ki ce min komai, har yanzu yaki yi min maganar komai. Suma kuma a bangaren su babu wanda yazo gidan mu, ban sani ba ko sun san na dawo gida ko kuma basu sani ba Allah ne masani. A ranar Alhamis din ne Abba ya zo da yana tambayata "kina da isassun kudi a hannun ki wadanda zasu kaiki inda mahaifiyarki take?" Nayi shiru ina lissafi sannan nace "ba zasu ishe ni ni da yara ba" yace "ke kadai ai nace ba wai da yara ba. Yara ki hada musu kayansu zan kira ubansu yazo ya dauke su, bana son yake samun uzurin yi min sintiri a gida, saboda ina da yammata a cikin gidan nan" na sunkuyar da kaina ina fahimtar cewa Umar yana zuwa unguwar kenan kuma lallai Abba yayi fushi sosai da Umar.
Amma kuma banason rabuwa da yayana, na sani a cikin zuciyata I will fight for my right to have their custody amma sai komai ya lafa tukunna, kuma yanzu zuwa gidan nasu yai dai dai dan suma yaran suna missing babansu kuma shima yana da right na ganin su da kuma zama da su. Kuma bani da matsala da Mama dan na san tana son su, sosai, ba zata cutar da su ba, amma hakan ba yana nufin zan bar mata su ba.
Sannan naji dadin shawarar Abba na tura ni Ethiopia, at least zan samu in huta sosai away from all these. Kuma zan ga Umma.
Sai ya cigaba da magana "na nemi takardar ki a hannun sa har yanzu yayi shiru, ina ganin mutuncin mahaifin sa shi yasa nayi shiru nima, amma zam ga iya kacin gudun ruwa sa" ya juya ya hau sama yana sake maimaita min maganar hada kayan yara.
Sai naji ina mamakin yadda Abba ya sauko haka, wai har shine yau yake nemawa yarsa takarda a gurin mijinta, amma kuma sai nayi tunanin maganar Mammy ce ta taba shi sosai, har yake gudun haduwar Umar din da yammatan yayansa.
Na hada musu kayan nasu, suka saka ni a gaba da tambaya sai na gaya musu zasu je gidan Mama ne su zauna acan tare da daddyn su. Nan da nan sai murna har suna rungume ni suna kissing dina, sai kuma Yasmin ta fara tambayoyin nata "mommy ke kuma fa? Tare zamu tafi da ke?" Na jawo ta jikina ina shafa kanta ina jin kamar zanyi kuka nace "a'a Yasmin, ba tare zamu je ba, ni zanyi tafiya ne shi yasa za'a kai ku can din"
Tace "in kin dawo kuma fa? Zamu koma gidan mu tare da ke da Daddy?" Na sunkuyar da kaina kasa, "ban sani ba Yasmin, ban sani ba, Allah ne kadai ya sani"
Har dare ba'a zo an dauke su ba. Na dauka Umar zai zo ya dauke su da gaggawa tunda na tabbatar ya matsu da son ganin su. Da safe ranar Alhamis Abba ya sauko ya fita waje sai gashi ya dawo yana fadan har yanzu Umar bai zo ya dauki yayansa ba, ya kira Farhan "ku dauki yaran nan ke da Amira ku je ku kai su gidan kakan su"
A haka na rabu da yayana, su Farhan suka tafi dasu, basu dade sosai ba sai gasu sun dawo har sun kai su. Na tambayesu ko sun ga Baba suka ce Aunty ta kaisu har dakin sa sun gaishe shi kuma sun duba shi. Sun gaya min cewa jikinsa da sauki amma har yanzu ba shi da lafiya.
Sai kuma suka bani labarin Mama "ko tambayar inda kike ma bata yi ba, kawai ta karbi jikokin ta har da cewa wai za'a duba musu school mai kyau, auntyn ce kawai ta tambaye mu ke tace kuma tana gaishe ki". Farhan ta matso kusa dani tace "ashe gobe za'a daura wa Umar aure? Auntyn ce take gaya mana amma kamar mamar ba ta so a gaya mana ba"
Sai kuma Amira tace "Yaya, ni dai ban san me ya hada ki da yaya Doctor ba amma ina tausayin sa Allah. Kin san kullum sai na ganshi a layin nan? Yanzu ma fa yana bakin layi a cikin mota a zaune, jiya ma na ganshi a gurin. Baki ga yadda ya zama ba. Kasumbar da ya tara ko? kamar za'a bashi loudspeaker ya fara wa'azi"
Farhan ta kwashe da dariya. Ni kuma naji babu dadi har cikin raina. Wato zama yake yi bakin layi with hope cewa zan dauki wayarsa in fita gurinsa.
Sai nayi deciding cewa gobe juma'a zan ganshi, zan ganshi one last time kafin in bar kasar. Sai dai daga ni har shi a lokacin bamu san abinda juma'ar zata zo mana dashi ba.
Ga masu son siya zasu iya turo kudin su #300 zuwa wannan account din
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*wannan littafin na siyarwa ne bisa amana, idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta, idan kuma kin siya kar kiyi sharing, in kika yi kin ci amana kuma ke da Allah*
*Black Friday 1*
Ranar juma'a na tashi raina babu dadi, sai na saka hakan a matsayin rashin yayana a kusa dani dan na jima ban kwana na tashi babu su ba. Bayan na gama adduoi na sai kuma na dauka waya ta na nemo number din Umar na tura masa sako
"Ina son ganin anjima da karfe goma please, akwai maganar da nake so muyi"
Na tura masa. Mintuna kadan kira ya shigo waya ta daga gare shi. Na tsaya ina jujjuya wayar a hannuna sannan na dauka na kai kunne na.
"Hello?"
Sai da ya danyi shiru sannan yace "Jidda" na amsa "na'am. Barka da assuba" yayi shiru bai amsa ba nace "ya kwanan yara?" Sai yayi ajjiyar zuciya "dan yaran ki kika dauki kira na ko?" Na girgiza kai kamar yana kallo na sannan nace "ba dan su bane ba. Ai nasan ba lallai ne suna tare da kai ba. Ina so ne muyi magana in an jima" yace "a ina zamu hadu? Ki zo gidan ki zan je can nima" na sake girgiza kai na "ka zo nan gidan" yace "Abba ba zai barni in shigo ba. Ki ce masa zaki je gidan Aunty Afia sai muyi waya in dauke ki a hanya" na danyi guntun murmushi, Umar will never change, wato nima irin na yammatan zaiyi min kenan.
Nace "Abba zai fita anjima, duk Friday yana zuwa wayon ziyarar yanuwa da abokai. Around 10 yake fita, you come after 10. Akwai maganar da nake so muyi ne kuma bana so muyi a waya.
Zaka zo? Yace "okay zan zo. Amma please....." Nace "okay sai kazo" sannan na zare wayar daga kunnena na kashe ta.
Bacci na koma na cigaba da yin abina tunda bani da wani nauyi, sai after nine na tashi na tarar Amira har ta gama hada mana breakfast ta kuma gyara dakin Umma, ta tashi naci abinci na na shiga nayi wanka ina shiryawa naji fitowar Abba, ya leko falon Umma yana magana ba tare da ya amsa mana gaisuwar da muke mika masa ba "Tahir zai shigo an jima, sai kuyi maganar tafiyar ki da shi, shi yayi musu shirin tafiyar sanda zasuyi da Aysha" nace "to Abba" sai ya fita yana cewa da Hajiya da take tsakar gida "yau ba zan dawo da wuri ba, ina jin sao magrib, da akwai inda zamu je da Alhaji Aminu" yana fita na sauke ajjiyar zuciya tare da bawa Amira umarnin ta gyara min sitting room.
Tana cikin gyaran wayata tayi kara, na daga naga sunan Umar sai na zauna ina embracing kaina, do I have to really see him? Abinda zan gaya masan is it really worth risking Abba yazo ya tarar da mu tare? But na riga na kira wo shi, wata zuciyar ta gaya min in kira shi ince na fasa fitowa amma dai sai na mike bayan doguwar addu'a na saka hijab dina na fita.
Suna zaune a sitting room din shi da Amira, ban san maganar da suke yi ba. Sai na lissafa a raina idan Abba ya shigo ya gansu a haka, shi da yace baya son Umar a kofar gidan sa saboda yana da yammata to me zai faru idan ya ga Umar din a zaune tare da daya daga cikin yammatan nasa?
Abu na farko da na fara lura dashi a jikin Umar shine ramar da yayi, dan ma shi mutum ne mai fadin kashi dan haka jikinsa bai nuna ramar sosai ba sai fuskarsa ce ta nuna, idonsa ne ya nuna, ban sani ba kuma ko ramar ce ko kuma gashin daya tara a fuskar ne ya saka fuskar ta chanja idon ya fada ciki? Ya mike tsaye yana kallona, and I realized tunda muka yi aure this is the longest da muka yi ba mu ga juna ba. Amira ta mike ta dauki tsintsiyar da taje yin shara da ita sannan tayi mana sallama, babu wanda ya amsa mata a tsakanin mu.
Sai da ta fita sannan ya taho da sauri zuwa inda nake da niyyar rungume ni, amma sai ya rike hannun nawa ya juyasu bayana sannan ya jani zuwa kirjin ya rungume tare da sauke ajjiyar zuciya. Tsoro ya kamani, idan Baba ko wani a brothers dina ya shigo na kade har ganye na, sai na tura shi baya cikin tsoro nace "Umar menene haka kake yi wai? I didn't call you for hugs I called you for talks, idan kuma ka sake kokarin runguma ta Allah zan shiga gida kuma ba zamuyi maganar ba" sai ya daga hannu sama, "shikenan, no hugs, I get it" sannan na nuna masa kujera "ka zauna dan Allah. Magana zamuyi dan Allah" amma still bai ji magiya ta ba sai ya rike hannuna sannan ya dora hannun nawa a fuskarsa tare da sauke ajjiyar zuciya.
Sannan ya ja hannun nawa daga fuskar sa zuwa kirjin sa ya dora akan saitin zuciyarsa ya lumshe ido sannan yace
"what have you done to us?"
Na karbe hannuna tare da goge shi a jikin rigata ina jin haushin maganar sa tare da nadamar kiransa ma da nayi sannan nace
"still the same Umar dana sani. Blaming anyone but himself. Ni kake blaming kenan? I guess ni ce nake bin maza ciki har Bashir abokin ka da ma'aruf din yaya Mubaraka nephew dinka, a karshe kuma naje dakin mai gadi na danne shi sanda baka nan"
Yayi taku biyu baya sannan ya dafe kansa, "God of mercy. Jidda wai me kike so inyi ne? Me kike so in ce miki ne? Have you being reading your messages ma kuwa? Sau nawa zan ce miki na daina ne wai, sau nawa zan rantse miki ban taba yarinyar can ba? Do you have any idea what I have been through? What I am going through right now? Kina tunanin after all that has happened zan sake wani abin kuma? Me kike so inyi ne wai? In durkusa kasa in baki hakuri ince na daina?"
Sai kawai naji hawaye sun taru a idona, I thought abubuwan da suka faru din sun chanja shi amma ashe dai shi din ne dai har yanzu.
Sai na ja jikina daga kusa dashi na zauna akan kujera sannan nace "abinda nake so Umar doesn't matter, abinda nake so kayi doesn't matter, what matters is abinda Allah yake so kuma abinda Allah yake so kayi. Wannan shine kuskuren ka wannan shine dalilin da yasa har yanzu ka kasa dainawa duk da cewa kana kokarin ganin ka daina din. Saboda kana kokarin dainawa ne saboda ni, ba wai dan saboda Allah ba. Kana kokarin ka farantamin ne ba wai dan ka farantawa Allah ba. A duk lokacin da mukayi rigima kana yin nadama ka shiga damuwa, amma ba wai nadamar aikata sabo kake yi ba kana yin nadamar na kama ka ka aikata sabo. Tabbas Umar kana yi min laifi, laifin cin amana, karya, yaudara, da kuma zubar min da mutunci na da kake yi, amma babban wanda kake yi wa laifi shi ne Allah. Dokokin sa kake karyawa, iyakokin sa kake ketare wa. Maganganun sa kake takewa. Shi yace kar a kusanci zina amma kai kuma rungumar ta kake yi duk inda ka ganta"
Ya juyo da sauri zuwa gaba naya durkusa a kasa ya rike hannuna, nima sai na sauko daga kan kujerar muka durkusa tare "Jidda. Ba haka bane ba. You know me. Na gaya miki it was an addition, jarabawa ta ce, kuma yanzu na gama cin ta, na gama Jidda, me yasa ba zaki fahimta ba wai? Babu bawan da Allah baya jarabtar sa komai karfin imaninsa ko rashin imanin sa, ni tawa haka ce, kuma ina fighting inga na ci ta and we can do it together idan muna tare. In kika barni....."
Na dakatar da shi da cewa "na yarda jarabawa ce, na yarda ranar farko daka fara yi jarabawa ce, Allah ya dandana maka zakin ta dan yaga yadda zaka yi da ita ya gani ko imaninka ya kai zaka iya over coming abin ko kuma a'a, it was an exam and you failed woefully. And you continue to fail tunda har kake jingina shiriyar ka da ni. Umar *only God can change you* ni ba zan iya chanja ka ba, zamana da kai ba zai chanja kaba, rabuwa ta da kai ma ba zata chanja ka ba, kai ne zakayi deciding cewa zaka daina and set your mind to it ka kalli gabas ka gaya wa Allah cewa ka tuba kuma kana so ka daina and mean it har cikin zuciyarka dan zuciya ubangiji yake kalla ba wai furucin baki ba. If you do that then sauran kuma tsakanin ka da shi ne, shi algafur ne kuma alrahim, idan kayu taubatun nasuha zai yafe maka kuma ya dora ka akan tafarkin tsira. But without that, no matter how much you tell your self or me or Mama cewa ka daina ba zaka sake ba you won't. Saboda ba daga zuciyarka kake fadar abin ba saboda a zuciyarka ka riga ka saka cewa you are addicted to it, shedan yana cigaba da gaya maka you can't resist the urge, zuciyarka tana gaya maka wannan ne na karshe daga wannan
