Author : MAMAN MAAMA Category : African Stories & Novels
you my dear have stretched my patience up to it's breaking point kuma har yanzu naga baki da niyyar saukowa"
Na bude ido na ina kallon fuskar sa kadai nace "to me zaka yi min? Tunda ban amince ba zaka tilasta min ne? Are You planning on raping me?" Yayi dariya, daga gani a cikin nishadi yake jin sa yau dinnan "no, not raping you, but I planned on making you change your mind"
Na harare shi "I will never" yace "okay let's find out" ya fara saka min hannu a riga ni kuma na fara kokawa dashi, ina doke hannun duk sanda ya kawo, muka fara kokawa tun daga kwance har muka tashi zaune sai dai karfin ba daya bane ba dan ma shi dariya yake yi nice na dage da dukkan karfina nake yi, a haka yayi nasarar cire doguwar riga ta yana dariya ya mayar da abin wasa yayin da ni kuma nake kara kumbura da kuma kara kaimi gurin kwatar kaina.
Na fara haki, exhausted, duk karfi na ya kare shi kuwa ko a jikinsa. Ya hada hannayena da nake ture shi da su duk biyun ya rike su a baya na da hannu daya, sannan yasa daya hannun ya balle hook din bra ta, yana murmushi yace "is that all you got, ko akwai saura?" Naji haushi ya sake kama ni, na fara haurin sa da kafafuwana sai ya hada su duk biyun ya saka a tsakanin nasa sannan ya matse yana kallon cikin ido na. "Saura me kuma?"
Na lura bani da abinda ya rage min min sai bakina, na fara maganar da zan gaya masa mai zafi wadda zata saka ya rabu dani nace "wai kai maye ne? Baka da zuciya? Ayi ta korar ka amma ba zaka rabu da mutum ba? Nace bana yi! Nace bana so! Dole ne"
Sai naga ya daina dariyar da yake yi, na dauka magana ta ce ta bata masa rai har na fara jin dadi sai naji yace "eh din ni mayen ne, amma ba mayen komai bane ba mayen ki ne, kuma maitar ku yanzu na fara ta, babu gudu babu ja da baya, ni da ke babu rabuwa, not now not ever"
Kafin in bashi amsa ya dora bakinsa akan nawa, cutting off duk wata magana da nayi niyyar gaya masa, kissing me like he has never done before, ya sauke ajjiyar zuciyar da naji ta a dukkan jikinsa sannan ta ratsa zuwa nawa jikin ta saka ni nima na ajjiye tawa. And I struggled no more.
Sanda ya saki hannu na ban ture shi da su ba sai na zagaye wuyansa dasu, drawing him closer, giving and receiving. And I hated my body for betraying me like that.
And when he entered me, he filled not only my body but all the spaces that were created in my heart, duk guraben da nake tunanin son sa ya ragu a gurin ya dawo ya cika su taf, just like he said he will.
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*wannan littafin na amana ne, idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta, idan kin siya kar kiyi sharing, in kika yi kinci amana kuma ke da Allah*
*The Second Chance*
Motsinsa ne ya tashe ni da assuba, na farka naga ya fito daga wanka yana goge gashin kansa. Nayi shiru ina kallon sa har ya gama drying jikinsa ya saka shorts sannan ya dora jallabiyya akai, na lumshe idona ina jin soyayyar sa tana kara hauhawa a cikin zuciyata. Ima kuma jin kuskuren da yayi yana raguwa kadan kadan kamar yadda tokar takarda take narkewa a cikin ruwa.
But what if he did it again?
Can I take it? Can my heart take it?
Na sake bude idona ina kallon sa, naga ya dauko roll on deodorant dina yana shafawa yana humming waka under his breath, nayi murmushi, sai naga ya juyo sai nayi sauri na mayar da ido na na rufe, sai ya taho ya zauna a gefen gadon, nasan kallona yake yi amma na ki bude idona, pretending to be asleep, ya sunkuyo yayi kissing eyelids dina, na dan kifta ido na sannan na bude su na sauke su a cikin nasa, remembering the first time I saw them
"Morning sweetness" ya fada yana shafa gefen fuskata "ko yau ma sai nazo na kuna hada wani ruwan zafin ne" nayi murmushi ina kokarin boye fuska ta, shi kuma yayi dariya.
Tabbas sai daren jiya na fahimci abinda yake nufi sanda yayi min dinki da yace "as good as new" amma ni ba zance as good as new din ba amma babu ta yadda zaka ce da ya fita daga gurin.
Ya rike fuskar da nake kokarin boyewa, ya dora goshinsa akan nawa, hancinsa akan nawa, sannan yace "kin san ina son ki sosai ko?" Na gyada kai ina murmushi dan tabbas in ma daban sani ba to jiya naji kuma na gani kuma na tabbatar.
Yace "good" sannan ya saki fuskar ya tashi "ki tashi kiyi sallah, zan je masjid" ban amsa ba har ya kai bakin kofa ya kama ta ya bude sai na kira sunan sa, ya juyo yana kallon amma bai amsa ba sai nace "I love you too. But if you cheat on me again I will kill you"
Na fada ba wai dan ina nufin hakan ba, dan kawai ya zama kamar warning a gurinsa. Sai ya saki hannun kofar ya dawo ya kama hannu na yace "abinda ya faru is the greatest mistake of my life, and it will never happen again. Nayi miki wannan alkawarin kinji?" Na gyada kai kawai ina jin kamar zanyi kuka. Sai ya mike ya fita.
Na tashi nima na shiga toilet da sauri saboda tunanin da nayi cewa Yasmin zata iya tashi any moment. A ranar sai na samu irin addu'ar da zanyi masa a gurbin da kullum nake masa addu'a a cikin sallolina, da nakan yi masa addu'ar budi da kariya da kuma karin zaman lafiya a tsakanin mu. Yanzu kuma sai na fara yi masa addu'ar neman tsari daga sharrin shaidan ya kuma tsayar dashi akan tafarki madaidaici.
A ranar da yamma Mufida tazo. Tunda tazo ta saka ni a gaba da mita wai nayi tafiya ba tare da nayi mata sallama ba. "Ni wallahi da cewa nayi ma na daina zuwa gidan ku tunda kuka wulakanta ni, ke kika yi tafiyar ki baki gaya min ba duk da cewa tare muke kwana a gidan daya a daki daya a gado daya, shi kuma mijinki na dawo daga makaranta ina tambayar sa inda kike ya balbale ni da masifa, nace ya zo ya kaini gida ma sai ya nemi ya gaya min magana........."
Ta cigaba da surutun ta ni kuma na cigaba da ayyuka na dan yau abinci na musamman nake son hadawa mijina, duk inda nayi tana bina tana cigaba da surutu da mita har sai data gaji dan kanta sannan kuma ta fara mitar nayi shiru na rabu da ita.
Na juyo ina kallon ta "to me kike so ince miki? Tafiya ta kama ni kuma ba kya kusa lallai sai na kira ki na sanar da ke? Kuma inda naje babu network shi yasa layina kira baya shiga"
Ta kawo kujera ta zauna a kitchen din tace "well, idan da ace ban san ku ba ke da yaya Doctor, idan da ace ban san irin soyayyar da kuke yiwa junan ku ba da sai in ce fada kuka yi kika yi yaji. But that would have been rediculous ko?"
Na ajiye wukar hannuna na juyo ina kallon ta, "and what makes you think that?" Ta gyara zama "okay na farko, yadda ranar kike ta daukin dawowar mijinki babu yadda za'a yi ki kirkiri tafiya kuma immediately bayan zuwansa, na biyu kuma the way I know you, yadda baki taba zuwa dangin Umma ba in zaki je sai kin cika gari da sanarwar, in kuma kinje din ko da ba zaki iya kiran mu ki bamu labarin zuwanku da abubuwan da kika gani a can ba to tabbas zaki dauki pictures ki turo mana mu gani. Na uku, bayan tafiyar ki Mama ta kira wayar Umma kuma sun gaisa ba tare da ta gaya mata wani abu mai kama da cewa kunyi tafiya ba"
Na harde hannayena a kirjina ina kallon ta nace "what do you want?" Tayi murmushi "the truth. Aunty ma tace ta fi tunanin yaji kika yi amma Mama tace ba yaji bane ba" nace "idan kuma bana son yin maganar fa?" Ta daga kafada ta mike tsaye "shikenan, sai in ce in tayi tsami maji" sai ta fita
Na cigaba da aiki na a raina nace kar Allah ya kawo min ranar da zata yi tsamin ma ballantana a ji. A hankali nace "in tayi tsamin ma zan saka mata kanwa da baking powder"
Sai kuma nayi shiru ina lissafi, wato yan gidan su sun fahimci akwai wata magana a kasa, kuma dalilan da Mufida ta jero min suna da ma'ana amma a cikin su babu wanda yaje gidan mu ya tambaya ko kuma ya tambaye ni, sai yanzu da surutun Mufida ya saka na fahimci sun sani, idan babu ita they will just keep pretending basu sani ba.
But maybe it is for the best
Maybe not.....
Bayan Umar ya dawo gida ne naga ya saka ta a gaba yana mata fadan karatu, a lokacin ne na fahimci dalilin zuwan ta ashe Mama ce ta turo ta wajensa dan ya bincike ta yaji dalilin da yasa result dinta na wannan semester din da suka gama bai yi kyau ba bayan kuma tunda ta fara komai nata yana tafiya dai dai.
Yayi mata fada sosai, ya kuma yi ta tambayar ta ko tana da wani problem ne a school ko a gida duk tace masa a'a, sai kuma ya tambaye ta ko ta fara samari ne a school din nan ma tace a'a, sai yayi mata warning idan ta kuma kawo result mai munin wannan za'a chanja mata course a mayar da ita level one ta fara daga farko.
Ta gama kumbure kumburen ta ta tashi ta shiga daki, sai bayan ta shiga ne ya nuna min result din nata a cikin system din sa, C guda daya babu zancen A ko B, har da F guda biyu, abinda Mufida bata taba samu ba tunda ta fara karatu. Kuma ni nasan ko a secondary school ba dakikiya bace ba duk da dai ba za'a saka ta a sahun masu kokari sosai ba.
Sai ya tambaye ni a matsayi na a aminiyarta ko ta gaya min wani abu da yake damunta? Amma ni ban san wani abu yana damunta ba, sai ya tambaye ni nima zancen saurayi shima nace masa ban sani ba, amma sai nace "ko saurayin ne tayi ba lallai ne ta gaya min ba, saboda ta san zan gaya maka, ina ganin abinda zamuyi shine a samu wani ko wasu a ce su saka ido a kanta a school din, kuma kai ma ka ringa samun lokaci kana shammatar ta kana zuwa, in har an fahimci saurayin ne yake hana ta karatu ina ganin ayi mata aure shi yafi, in yaso ta karasa karatun a gidan mijinta"
Ya gyada kai cikin fahimta, amma duk ransa ya baci sai kallon result din yake yana tsaki har sai dana zo na dauke masa hankali daga kan maganar sannan ya saki fuskar sa, wannan ya kara tabbatar min da son da Umar yake yi wa yan uwansa.
Sabon babin soyayya muka bude a gidan mu, dan ni a gurina zan iya cewa kulawar da Umar yake bani a lokacin ta ma fi wadda ya bani lokacin ina amarya, kuma na alakanta haka ne da cewa yana kokari ne gurin goge min abinda ya faru daga zuciyata. Nima kuma na cigaba da faranta masa a ciki da kuma wajen bedroom, ko Umar bai neme ni ba ni zan neme shi da kaina kuma zai karbe ni hannu bibbiyu ya kuma nuna min soyayya tare da yaba min, ban taba ganin wani abu daga gare shi ba ko kuma inji wani abu daga bakinsa ba da zai nuna kamar na gaza ta wani bangaren, komai lafiya lafiya.
Amma duk da haka ban saurara ba, duk wani abu da naji an fada a media ko kuma a school a cikin kawaye cewa yana karawa mata ni'ima ko kuma ƙarfin sha'awa in dai nayi tunani da ilimi na naga abin bashi da illa sai na gwada sha, wadansu inji sunyi min abinda nake bukata sai in cigaba da amfani da su wadansu kuma injibasu yi ba sai in daina. Duk a kokari na na ganin nayi satisfying Umar kuma nayi matching dinsa a karfin sha'awa. Bayan kayan da Aunty ta kawo mim sun kare ma ni da kaina na karbi number din matar da take siya a gurinta muka fara magana da ita ta WhatsApp kuma take aiko min da duk wani latest maganin mata, in na gwada wannan baiyi min ba sai ta bani wani ta ce in gwada shi, kuma duk ina sha ne ba wai dan ni ba dan ni kam alhamdulillah dai dai nake jin komai, ina sha ne dan Umar, duk da ba wai ina ganin chanji bane dagagare shi ba Kuma alhamdulillah as far as I know komai yana tafiyar mana dai dai.
Sai dai wani abu gida daya shine.......
Tunda abin nan yafaru na kasa cire zargin Umar daga zuciyata duk da cewa baya taba bani wani reason da zai saka in zarge shi ammadai still.......duk sanda ya fita yayi dare sai na tambayi kaina ina yaje? Duk sanda naga yana waya da wanda ban fahimci ko waye ba sai na tambayi kaina ko macece? Duk sanda aka kira shi a waya kuma naga ya dauki mota ya fita sai inji kamar in bishi in ga inda za shi.
Amma ban taba furta masa ba, sai dai na saka ido sosai a kansa.
A haka watanni suka tura har shekara ta zagayo.
A cikin shekarar abubuwa da dama sun faru, na farko anyi bikin Muhibbat mun kaita Adamawa in da mijinta yake aiki. Sannan kuma anyi bikin Bashir da Surayya.
A lokacin na fahimci abinda yasa naga banbanci tsakanin yadda Umar yake treating dina da kuma yadda Bashir yake treating Surayya, auren hadi ne, Maman sa ce ta hada su saboda tayi tayi ya samu mata yayi aure yaki shine ta hada su da yar kanwarta.
Farkon auren nasu babu abinda ya dame ni da Surayya, amma da ga baya Umar yayi tayi min naci akan in ja ta jikina dan Allah ko ba muyi kawance ba ya kasance akwai mutunci sosai a tsakanin mu saboda kasancewar su mazajen mu abokan juna, sai na fara kulata kuma sai naji dadin hakan dan tana da hankali sosai da nutsuwa, tana kuma da ilimin addini mai zurfi kuma tayi diploma amma yanzu Bashir bai barta ta cigaba da karatu ba ita kuma ta hakura, tace as far as yana sauke dukkan hakkokin aure bata da wani bukatar karatu kuma ballantana aiki. Ban musa mata ba tunda ra'ayin ta ne, amma ni a ra'ayi na dukkan kyautatawar da mijina yake min in dai har ya barni ba zan ki yin aiki in nemi na kaina ba.
Gidan su katoto, dan yafi namu girma tunda Bashir yafi Umar kudi kuma baban shi ma yafi na Umar kudi. A hankali a hankali sai muka fara zama tamkar aminai ni da Surayya, tunda yanzu Mufida ta zama in law dina ba kowacce magana nake iya gaya mata ba.
Wani abun da ya kuma faruwa a shekarar shine shiga makarantar Farhan. Wannan abin ya bawa kowa a family din mu mamaki amma fa ba karamin kai ruwa rana aka yi da Abba ba kafin ya barta ta tafi din, sai da Hajiya ta hado masa duk wadanda ta san zai iya jin maganar su suka roke shi sannan ya nema mata College of education kumbotso ta fara zuwa. Problem din Farhan har yanzu shine rashin tsayayyen saurayi, samarin suna zuwa, amma kusan duk bana gaske bane ba, ita kuma tunda Abba ya saka ta a gaba da maganar aure dan haka duk wanda yazo kwana biyu sai tafara yi masa maganar aure shi kuma sai ya gudu.
Sai na zaunar da ita nabata shawara "ki cire maganganun Abba da threats din sa daga ranki. Take your time, idan saurayi yazi ki bashi time ku fahimci juna tukunna kafin ma ki yanke shawarar if you want to marry him. Dan wani maybe da gasken yake ma amma da yaga kin nuna masa a matse kike sai yayi wa abin mummunar fassara ya gudu"
Tace "dan baki san abinda Abba yake cewa ne ba, cewa fa yayi a karshen shekarar nan zai aura min Alhaji Mansur abokin sa"
Nayi dariya "to sau nawa yana wadannan threats din, ji nake ranar nan ma cewa yayi zai yi cigiya a masallaci in da mai son ki yazo ya aure ki kuma baiyi din ba? Kuma ma in ya aura miki Alhaji Mansur din menene? Sai kiga kinji dadin zama da shi albarkar biyayya" ta ture ni ta mike "bakin ki ya sari danyen kashin da nayi dazu, wato ke kin auri saurayi kyakykyawa mai kudi ni kuma in auri tsoho ko?"
Nayi shiru ina murmushi "ba a nan take ba Farhan, jin dadin aure ba anan yake ba" sai naji kamar in gaya mata problem dina amma sai na fasa, ba wai dan ban yarda da ita ba sai dan ina kyautata zaton Umar zai cika min alkawarin da yayi na cewa ya daina, in haka ne kuma fadar bata da amfani kenan.
Abu na hudu daya faru a shekarar shine kammala karatu na na nursing da nayi, wanda zance da kyar ya samu kammaluwa da taimakon Allah da taimakon Umar. And he celebrated me ranar dana gama din.
Sai abu da biyar kuma na karshe kuma mafi
