Author : MAMAN MAAMA Category : African Stories & Novels
kar ki bi ta mutane, don't allow society to force you back to your former husband, to the life you worked so hard to be free from, zasu ce
"gwara ki koma gidan tsohon mijinki uban yayanki"
"da sabon gini gwara yabe"
"the devil you know is better than the angel you don't know"
"Mazan yanzu duk halin su daya. Duk haka suke"
And some will even say the extreme
"Without a husband you are nothing"
All of which to me are all rubbish.
Only go back to him idan kinji zuciyarki ta karkata to going back to him bayan kin yi addu'a. Kar ki ce zaki koma wai dan saboda yayanki ko dan saboda society expect you to ko dan saboda tsoron rashin sanin wanda zaki aura next. There are very good men a duniya, duk karya ce zancen wai maza gabaki daya halinsu daya, duk karya ce created by those who wants us to accept yan iskan maza the way they are. Indai kin barwa Allah zabi kuma baki da hakkin kowa a kanki there is a very good chance that zaki samu mijin da yafi wanda kika rabu da shi ta kowacce fuska.
You owe no one your life, you owe no one your happiness, your life is yours alone and you live it the way you want.
Kamar yadda nace karshen littafin nan is mostly fiction, duk da da akwai traces na abubuwan da suke faruwa da gaske a ciki, but zancen shiryuwar Umar is a fiction, in reality 80% na wadanda suka yi nisa a zina basa dainawa, they just learn to hide it kamar yadda baban Aira yayi, har sai asirin su ya tonu a karshe. Mostly in sun daina to shekaru ne suka ja abarsu ta daina aiki, ko kuma wata cuta suka samu wadda zata saka dole su daina. Amma haka nan salin alin basa dainawa musamman tunda in reality ayoyin Allah basa fitowa kirikiri kamar yadda suka fito wa Umar a fictional part of this story.
Don't crucify me yet, lol, ba cewa nayi mazinata basa shiryuwa ba, but hardly, dan wannan yana daga dalilin da yasa na daina rubuta section din readers section da na fara yi kwanan baya, most of the stories are so heart wrenching that I decided to stop writing them, and so far a duk wadanda na samu, none of them ne ya daina.
So this is a food for thought to you my dear.
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Bayan da Aunty Afia ta dan samu sauki ne na dawo gida bayan an samo mata wata matashiyar mata da zata zauna tare da ita tana mata yan aiyuka tana kuma debe mata kewa, duk da cewa akwai Aiman a gidan a tare da ita wanda yake karatun masters dinsa ne yanzun kuma shima yana iyakacin kokarin sa wajen ganin ya kwantar mata da hankali, da shi da Aira duk da cewa bata kasar amma itama tana iyakacin kokarin ta.
Sai dai jikin na Aunty sai dai hamdala, duk da tana kokarin shan maganinta amma ciwon ya riga ya cita sosai kafin a san da shi. Abu na biyu kuma ta saka damuwa sosai a cikin zuciyarta akan abinda ya faru da ita, ga kuma rashin abinyi wanda shine yake kara bata lokacin tunani da bacin rai dan dama ita tun farko auren nan kawai shine abinda take yi, bata aiki bata sana'a bata da komai na ta na kanta sai abinda mijinta yayi providing and since he has been providing enough bata taba tunanin yin wani abu ba.
As for me, I moved on with my life, and the more I see the way things are the more I appreciate the decision I took. Kullum cikin godewa Allah nake da kuma cigaba da kokarin yi masa biyayya ta hanyar mika lamura na gare shi tare da gudun duk wani abu da zai saka in kauce hanyarsa.
But zan iya cewa ma bani da lokacin zama inyi wani tunanin ma da har zai saka ni a hanyar lalacewa, I kept myself as busy as busy can be, duk ma su yi kim magana ta waya ko ta zahiri cewa suna so na ko something like that bani da lokacin zama ma inyi tunani akansu ballantana har in basu wata dama, sai da yawa zance zanyi tunani amma ina kwanciya ko minti daya bana yi naje yin bacci abina saboda gajiya da kuma rashin damuwa.
Har mamaku nake in na tuno lokacin da nake kasa bacci a gidan Umar saboda damuwa da bacin rai, bana ma tunanin cewa I am capable of that kind of life a yanzu. Na wuce gurin insha Allah.
Sam bana barin abinda zai dame ni. Ko customer ce naga kin fiya matsala kina neman ki saka min tension yanzu zan fasa business din da ke inyi referring dinki to business partners dina.
Yayana ma have adapt to their new life, karatun su ne a gabansu in sun dawo lesson teacher din dana daukar musu zata zo har cikin gida ta koya musu homework da sauran basic abubuwa, karfe takwas na dare kullum suke waya da babansu ko dai shi ya kira su ko kuma ni in kira musu shi. Daga nan zanyi musu wanka in shirya su wanda a lokacin ne muke samu muyi hira cikin kulawa da nuna soyayya zan tambaye su labarin abinda suka yi through out the day, in sun fada min in gyara musu abinda suka yi ba dai dai ba, in naji abinda suke bukata kuma inyi kokarin providing for them.
Tun Umar yana cewa su bani wayar in suna waya har ya hakura ya daina fada dan ko sau daya ban taba karba ba. Ya kan turo musu kuɗi duk wata, ya kan kuma zo ya gansu lokaci zuwa lokaci sometimes ma ya tafi dasu gidan su suyi weekend. A irin wadannan zuwan ne mukan hadu wata rana idan nayi rashin sa'a yazo lokacin na dawo daga office ko wata unguwa, sai dai ko mun hadu din babu wani abu danake bari yake shiga tsakanin mu in banda gaisuwa duk da cewa yana kokarin wuce gaisuwar a lokuta da dama.
Wannan yasa na fahimci shi har yanzu yana so ne in koma gidan sa, abinda ni kuma sam baya gaba na kenan, ba Umar ba duk wani namiji baya gaba na and I don't think I can love again, in ma zanyi ba nan kusa ba.
A wata rana ne lokacin few months ne ya rage inyi shekara uku rabona da gidan Umar, na dawo daga duba gurin aiki kenan an sauke ni a bakin layin mu ina ta sauri bana so mu haɗu da Abba a hanya ya fara min dogayen tambayoyi duk da ya san daga inda nake, ina cikin tafiyar ne nazo wucewa daga kofar gidan su Musa, a dai dai lokacin da shi kuma yake fitowa daga gidan hannunsa rike da wata yarinya around 4years.
Yayi min murmushi "ranki ya dade" nayi kokarin mayar masa da murmushi nima "ina wuni?" Ya karaso inda nake "lafiya lau malamar asibiti. Ya aikin?" Nace "alhamdulillah" na fara tafiya sai ya jera da ni muna tafiya tare. Nayi kokarin kawar da shiru din tsakanin mu nace "ashe kana gari kenan, kayi wuyar gani" yace "ni kuwa kinga kusan kullum ina ganin ki, ko kin tafi yiwa mutane allura ko kuma in kin dawo"
Na danyi dariyar yadda yayi maganar sannan nace "daga ganin yadda kayi maganar nan na gane tsoron allura ne da kai" yace "haba dai tsoron allura sai kace mace, ai mata ne ragwaye" na dakata ina kallon sa nace "matan? Kaf ma'aikatan asibiti sun san ragwantar maza, da kuma jarumtar mata, namiji ko ciwon kai yake sai ra rakwarkwabe kamar yaro, I bet da maxa ne suke haihuwa da tuni maaikatan asibiti sun zama kurame saboda ihu"
Yayi dariya sosai. "Dama ku mata gorin ku kenan, haihuwa dai haihuwa dai, to munji mun yarda, dama ba zamu iya ba shi yasa Allah bai dora mana ba dan Allah baya taba dorawa bawa abinda ba zai iya ba" nace " better, gwara da ka yarda"
A lokacin muka karaso kofar gidan mu, a lokacin ne kuma na lura da wanda yake tsaye a cikin railer idonsa a kan mu. Na dakata a bakin railer din trying to pretend kamar ban ganshi ba, na durkusa kadan nayi wa yarinyar da take rike a hannun Musa wasa, sannan na dago ina kallon sa nace "kar dai kace min......." Yace "ƴata ce, baki sani ba saboda baki da zumunci" nace "Masha Allah. Kyakykyawa da ita tubarkallah. And she looks a lot like you. Kayi wa mamanta wayo"
Yayi blushing "really? Well thank you, zan gaya wa Maman nata kuwa. Ko kuma in kin bani number din ki sai in kira ki ki gaya mata da kanki" na yi dariya duk da ba maganar dariya ba ce ba sannan nace "me zai hana in baka number ta kuwa? And feel free to call me anytime dan in wanke kaina a gurin ka, tunda kace bani da zumunci" ya dauko wayarsa da sauri sai kuma na dan dafe kaina nace "sai dai kuma gashi ban rike number ta ba kuma phone dina ta mutu. Sai dai ka bani taka number din in rubuta"
Ya tsaya yana min kallon tuhuma nayi murmushi "I promise zan kira, mai zai hana ni in kira?" Sai na dauko biro a jaka ta sannan intentionally na fito da hannuna wanda ya sha jan lallen da na tabbatar Umar yana balain so, na jujjuya hannun a gaba na kamar mai neman wani abu duk da nasan maxan biyu duk hannun nawa suke kallo sannan na fara rubuta number din ta sa a tafin hannuna, sai da ya gama fadar number din sannan yace "kunshin ki yayi kyau sosai" nayi masa murmushi "thank you" sannan na sake shafa kan yarinyar na wuce cikin gida ba tare da na kalli inda na tabbatar Umar yana tsaye a gurin ba.
Sai dana shiga sannan na tarar Umma tana shirya su Yasmin "baban su ne yazo wai zai kaisu su ga baby, ban san dai waye ya haihu ba" na tabe baki "zai wuce matarsa" sai kuma na tuna banji sun ce min yace musu an haifa musu kani ba, wancan cikin kuwa na tabbatar an jima da haihuwar sa, maybe bai zo da rai bane ko something, maybe na biyu ne wannan"
Bayan sun tafi nayi wanka nayi sallah naci abinci sannan na kwanta a falon Umma ina replying to messages a WhatsApp dina. A lokacin ne naga wani sako wanda na bude da zuciya daya ina saka ran new customer ne sai naga an rubuta
"Ba wai tsayawar da kika yi da wannan gajeren mutumin ne matsalata ba, ba kuma fake murmushin da kika yi masa bane ba, matsala ta itace kayan jikin ki, da kuma irin kallon da yake yi miki"
"And be careful of who you show your lalle to, as that thing can have impact on men"
Na juya ido na, duk da ban san number din ba nasan daga gurin wa sakon ya shigo. And he is online.
Na shiga options ina neman option din block sai naga yana typing, na fito dan ganin wacce bakar maganar kuma zai gaya min sai naga ya rubuta
"If you block me again zan tabbatar da zargina, cewa you still love me, shi yasa kike tsoron yi min magana cos you don't trust your own heart"
Nayi shiru ina kallon sakon nasa, na sani trap ya hada min dan kar in yi blocking dinsa ya samu damar cigaba da shigowa rayuwata, but wani barin na zuciyata wants to prove to him and to myself cewa soyayya tsakanina dashi is a thing of the past.
Sai na fasa blocking din, instead sai nayi muting dinsa nayi pinning number dinsa down, yadda zai ke ganina online, zai ke turo min messages amma ba zan ke ganin su ba ma saboda suna can kasan chats dina ballantana har in bashi amsa, I think that will hurt him more than being blocked.
Sai dai maganar da ya fada na kayan jikina ta tsaya min a raina, dan ni dai nasan uniform ne a jikina sai kuma na dora kimono a kansa na kuma nannada medium veil a kaina, kuma nasan ina yin irin wannan shigar tun ina gidansa kuma bai taba complain ba sai yanzu?
Wai washegari da na shirya zan fita sannan na lura da banbancin, banbancin shine yadda jikina yake a gidan Umar ba haka yake a yanzu ba. Sai na dauki mayafin da yafi na jiya girma.
A ranar da dare ya dawo dasu Yasmin, sai suka fada min ashe auntyn su Muhibbat ce ta haihu, sannan suka ce wai Daddyn su yace ni matsoraciya ce bana karanta messages dina. Sai nayi murmushi kawai, he wants to bring trouble back to my life and I will not let him.
Some days after that, na shirya na tafi gidan Diyam zan gano sabon babyn da ta haifa months ago a UK. Yanzu ta kammala karatun da take and will soon start practicing law a Nigeria kamar yadda ta jima tana buri. Rabona da ita tun last year da tazo bikin sister dinta Asma'u sai dai kusan kullum muna tare a waya. Naje gidan tana ta yi min mitar mai yasa ba taho da su Asad ba, tana son surutun Asad kullum muka yi waya sai ta ce in bashi in dai yana kusa. Na dauki twins dinta Aabid da Aabida wadanda yanzu suke shekaru kusan hudu. Tayi sauri ta karbi Aabida "wadannan gardawan kike dauka? Lallai zaki yi kwanan asibiti yau" nayi dariya na sauke Aabid tare da mika masa ledar dana sako musu packs din gullisuwar da suka bani sako tun suna uk.
Sai kuma na dauki babyn da yake kwance cikin shimfidar sa ina tasbihi ga Ubangijin da yake halitta.
"Diyam. Wannan kyakykyawan yaron ki bani shi mana" ta yi dariya tana bude wa twins ledojin da suka dauko. "Na baki. Bara in hado miki kayansa. Amma ki shirya kuka dan kamar gyare haka yake" na harare ta ina shaka cheek din babyn ina jin kamar in hadiye shi "ba wani nan, kawai dan kar ki bani shi ne. Wannan cute cute babyn ba zaiyi rigima ba"
Ta bude ido tana kallona "baki yarda ba? Bara babansa ya sauko sai ya baki labarin yadda muka kwana jiya muna karba karban jijjiga shi. Ni ina jin ma sai naje hospital an duba kunne na" ta fada tana saka karamin yatsanta a cikin kunnen ta.
Nayi dariya "sharri kayan kwalba" sai muka cigaba da hirar babies da hirar haihuwa, wanda hakan ya saka the mother part of me yaji yana son haihuwa. Na shafa ciki na absentmindedly sai kuma na tambayi kaina "when?"
Sai nayi saurin chanja topic din tare da fara maganar dawowarsu Nigeria and what's next. Tayi min bayanin dukkan plans dinta including business din data ke son farawa na turare. Tun daga kan turaren wuta zuwa humra zuwa freshener zuwa body sprays da sauran danginsu. Shago take so ta bude anan Kano, already har ta samu location mai kyau sai gini za'a fara. A ciki za'a yi ɓangare bangare na komai. Ta kuma yi magana da different designer companies da za take siya daga gare su. Turaren wuta kuma da danginsa step mother in law dinta ce zata ke supplying dinta da shi daga Maiduguri da Chad.
Wannan maganar da muka yi da ita ta saka na fahimci cewa ba wai lallai mata marasa miji irina da kuma wadanda mijin su baya kula da bukatun su ne suka da bukatar business ba, kowacce mace tana bukatar a personal source of income.
And then she asked me
"Ke kuma fa Jidda? Wannan kyau da kike kara yi kullum kina kara fresh ko dai munyi sabon kamu ne? Kin san love yana adding beauty to the face"
Nayi murmushi "ke ma dai da tsokana, wa yake zancen love be wai yanzu? Kalma mai daci mai zafi" ta gyara zamanta tace "kalma kuma mai zaki mai sanyi at the same time ba? Shi soyayya in kayi dace yafi komai zaki, in bakayi dace ba yafi komai daci, ita soyayya kamar zuma ce ga zaki kuma ga harbi"
Nayi ajjiyar zuciya nace "ni kam ni zan bada wannan shaidar ai, na sha harbi. Sai dai kuma yanzu na saka armor din da dafinta ba zai taba hudawa ba"
Tayi dariya "wa yaga sir lancelot" muka sake dariya tare sai kuma tace "seriously you need to loosen up a bit. Ki dan cire wannan armor din naki I am sure yadda kike dinnan wani ko yau kika ce ya fito sai ya siyar da gidan su na gado ya fito"
Nace "wa ye zai ce a fito? A fito a yi me? Ni fa maza da kike gani kallon biri suke yi min ina yi musu kallon ayaba. Abinda ya dame ni a yanzu shine to get stronger, yadda ko nan gaba nayi deciding auren I won't get treated like trash kamar baya, ni fa in zanyi auren ma zanyi ne kawai dan nasan hakan zai faranta ran iyaye na and dan ina son in samu ladan aure amma ba wai dan zuciya ta zata so haka ba"
Diyam ta girgiza kai tace "I think you are still hurting. Dan baki yi dacen aure a baya ba doesn't mean ba zaki dace a gaba ba, dan kin auri wanda ya cutar da zuciyar ki doesn't mean wani ma zaiyi irin haka nan gaba. If you trust Allah and ask him for the best he will surely provide you with the best. Am not saying kiyi aure yanzu tunda na fahimci you are not ready, ki zama ready first kafin kiyi, don't rush into choosing, don't let anyone rush you. You owe no one your happiness not your parents, not your ex husband, not your children, and definitely not the society"
"Yes in kin yiwa iyayenki biyayya zaki samu lada amma in kika ga abinda zaki yi musu biyayya akai zai zamanto cutarwa gare ki sai kiyi musu bayani yadda zasu fahimta. Yayanki kuma can never be happy in ke
