Author : MAMAN MAAMA Category : African Stories & Novels
godiya sannan kuma har zan tashi sai naga wannan dama ta ce ta gabatar musu da kudiri na sai na kuma zama sannan nace.
"Abba dama a game da maganar, maganar da kayi yanzu. Na yanke shawarar zan bar muku zabi saboda ni bani da zabi kuma nasan ba zakuyi min zabin banza ba"
Duk suka yi shiru suna kallona, watakila mamaki suke yi dan a zamanin yanzu budurwa ma ba kowacce ce take yarda a zabar mata miji ba ballantana wadda ta taba aure. Yace "ba wai na takura miki ne nace yanzu yanzu ba, kina da lokaci, kawai ina so ki fara badu dama ne har ki samu wanda hankalin ki zai kwanta da shi"
Umma ta ga damar ta ta shigar da maganar Salem. "Ga Salem nan Alhaji, yana nan yana ta fama akanta amma har yanzu taki ta bashi wata cikakkiyar amsa"
Abba bai bata amsa ba sai ya sallame ni first na basu guri, ban san me suka cigaba da tattaunawa ba.
Sai bayan da na koma na kwanta sai bacin ran abinda Umar yayi min ya dawo min, wannan ai sharri ne kuma ya san sharri yayi min kuma sai Allah ya saka min. Gwara ma Sadauki ni nayi masa karyar saurayi na ne amma shi kansa ya san ko mazan duniya sun kare ba zan kula Bashir ba saboda tsanar da nayi masa.
Sai kuma nayi tunani akan maganganun da mukayi da Abba da kuma fahimtar junan da aka samu a tsakanin mu, na kuma fahimci hakan ya faru ne saboda yanayin da yayi min maganar cikin nutsuwa ba wai da tsawa ko fada ba, da ace da fada ya dauko min maganar da in na rikice ma ba zan iya yi masa bayanin daya kamata ba.
A lokacin sai nayi wa kaina alkawarin ba zanke yaya na tsawa da unnecessary fada ba, ko sunyi wani laifi zan zaunar da su ne cikin kwantar da murya in tambaye su dalilin da yasa suka yi abinda suka yi, a haka ne zasu fada min gaskiya kuma in fahimci ta inda zan bi in gyara lamuran su, amma in da fada ne da hayaniya zasu ji tsoro za kuma suyi min karya dan su kare laifin su kar in hukunta su, meaning ba zan taba gane gaskiyar aibunsu ba ballantana in gyara.
Kwana biyu bayan nan su Diyam suka yi tafiya zuwa Maiduguri, naga ta saka hotunan su a airport ita da Sadauki da kuma wadanda suka dauka da yaran su. Kawai sai sharrin da Umar yayi min ya dawo raina sai wani tunani yazo kaina, nayi murmushin mugunta, sai na samu hoton da Diyam ta dauka da Sadauki a cikin jirgi, sunyi kyau sosai sosai.
Sai nayi cropping hoton na cire Sadauki shi kadai sannan na koma na nemo number din da Umar yake min magana da ita nayi saving da "stalker" sannan na koma kan status dina na chanza setting din wadanda zasu ga status dina nayi blocking kowa except number din Umar sannan nayi posting hoton Sadauki na saka.
"My Heartbeat. Thanks for the visit. Allah ya kai min kai gida lafiya. I will surely miss you"
Banfi minti biyu da posting ba naga yayi viewing, dama kuma shi kadai ne zai gani tunda nayi blocking kowa. Nayi murmushi. Now he will have a taste of kaso daya cikin goma na what I tasted sanda ina aurensa.
Ban kuma tunawa da maganar ba ma sai bayan magrib da Abba ya shigo gidan kuma ya kira ni yace in zo samansa yana nemana.
Na hau saman ina sauraren bugun zuciya ta, kar dai ace har Abba ya yanke hukuncin da nace na bashi? Na dauka zai dauki dogon lokaci shi yasa na bashi zabin a tunani na kafin ya gama zaba zuciyata ta shirya.
Na shiga falon sa na zauna a kasa daga gefensa. Sai dai na jima a gurin ba tare da yayi magana ba, sai sauke ajjiyar zuciya yake kamar wani abu yana damunsa sannan yace "naje gidan su Doctor Umar kamar yadda nace zan je, na samu ma baya jin dadi sosai. Ashe ciwon zuciya yake fama da ita?"
Na dago kai ina kallon sa bance komai ba sai yace "ko dama kin sani?" Na gyada kaina "eh na sani. Kawarnan tawa kanwarsa ta taba fada min sanda aka fita dashi waje akan ciwon" ya girgiza kansa "Allah ya bashi lafiya" nace "ameen" sai ya kuma yin shiru. Jimawa kadan yace "banji dadin yadda na tarar da iyayensa ba. Suna cikin wani hali na tsananin nadamar sakacin su akan tarbiyyar sa, dan suna ganin nadamar rayuwar sa ta baya ce ta saka masa wannan ciwon da suke tunanin shine zai zama ajalinsa"
Sai kawai naji hawaye ya zubo daga idona, ban san ma lokacin da suka taru ba sai zubar su naji. Iyayen Umar, musamman Baba, mutanen kirki ne, Mama ma mutuniyar kirki ce matsalar ta kawai makauniyar soyayyar da take yi wa yayanta. Na tuna da farkon aurena da Umar babu irin gatan da basu nuna min ba, har mamakin kirkin su nake yi ina alfahari da cewa nayi dace da surukai na gari.
And Umar........
Sai Abba ya riga zuciyata fadar waye Umar "Doctor Umar mutumin kirki ne........"
Sai kuma yayi shiru.
"Umar mutumin kirki ne" na maimaita a raina....
Sai Abba yace "tashi ki tafi" na mike na tafi amma sai na kasa karasa sauka daga benen na zauna a kan stairs na dora kaina akan guiwar ta na fara dabi'a ta ta kuka.
"Umar mutumin kirki ne......kuma ya soni irin son da nake tunanin babu irinsa idan ba a littafi ba, ya kula da ni irin kulawar da mata da yawa suke zuwa gurin bokaye su siyar da soul din su dan su samu daga gurin mazajen su. And then he has hurt me beyond imagination....."
"Umar ne dalilin da yasa nake abinda nake a yanzu, Umar made me who I am today, da bazar sa nake rawa. Idan ba dan Umar ba da ba lallai ne in samu karatun da nake takama da shi a yanzu ba, kyautatawar sa gare ni itace foundation na kasuwanci na wanda nake ji da shi a yanzu. Umar has been good to my parents and to my siblings, dan bayan ni Umar shi ya samowa Amira makaranta kuma har sai da muka rabu da shi sannan ya daina biya mata kudin makaranta. Umar yana yiwa kowa rashin kunya har matar ubansa amma baya iya daga ido ya kalli Umma, ballantana har ta fadi magana ya mayar ko kuma ya fadi wata magana marar dadi a kanta"
"Umar is a very significant part of me, part of my life. Kyautatawar sa da kulawar sa gare ni ita ta saka na zama literate and independent. Cutarwar sa gare ni ita ta saka na zama strong a cikin zuciyata. Sannan kuma, the last and the most important thing, Umar shine uban yayana"
Na mike tare da goge fuskata da hijab din jikina sannan na karasa sauka zuwa dakina. Na dauko magani na na sha saboda yadda nake jin jiri da yadda kaina yaje sarawa na san ciwo na zai iya tashi anytime, ciwon da bakin cikin Umar ya saka min. Ciwon da sai dai in tafi kabari na da shi. Amma kuma already Allah ya riga ya saka min shima ya saka masa ciwon da sai dai ya tafi nasa kabarin da shi.
Tunanin kabari ya saka naji hankali na ya kuma tashi, na tuna da maganar da Abba yayi na cewa Baba yace yana tunanin ciwon Umar shine ajalinsa. But is it that worst? Na ganshi fa kwana biyun nan and he seems fine duk da dai har yanzu bai mayar da jikinsa ba. Shin ciwon nan ya tashi ne sanadiyyar abinda na gaya masa? Sanadiyyar hoton dana tura masa?
Nayi sauri na kawar da maganar daga zuciyata sannan na jawo waya ta trying to keep myself busy dan in cire maganar daga raina amma sai na kasa, ina ji. Guilt feeling ya shiga zuciyata kamar abinda nayi ban kyauta ba.
Yes Umar yayi min abubuwan da suka fi wanda nayi nesa ba kusa ba amma ya kamata ace na manta da maganar na tuno da alkhairin sa, na kuma saka a raina duk wadannan abubuwan are now over, am no longer with him. Duk da ba zan koma auren sa ba amma ya kamata ace babu bakar magana a tsakanin mu sai alkhairi tare da fatan alkhairi, ko dan albarkacin yayan mu.
Sai na lalubo number din Mufida a wayata na kira.
"Hello mufy, ya kike?" Sai naji muryar ta wani iri tace "Jidda ya gida?" Nace "lfy kuwa? Ko ba kya jin dadi ne?" Tace "lafiya ta kalau. Ciwon yaya Umar ne ya tashi tun jiya, ina gida ma yanzu, gashi nan zama a tafi da shi asibiti"
Na runtse idona bance komai ba sai ta sake cewa "zaki zo ki duba shi? Dan Allah Jidda ki zo ki duba shi" na bude ido na nace "zan zo in duba shi. Ki ce ina yi masa sannu da jiki, ina kuma fatan Allah ya bashi lafiya"
Sai na kashe wayar na ajiye.
And that night for the first time after years, na kwana ina juyi ba tare da nayi wani baccin kirki ba, in ma nayi to mafarkai ne a ciki, wani mafarkin na mune da Umar da yara a gida muna ta raha, wani lokacin kuma in ganmu mu kadai cikin dare yana koya min karatun makarantar mu, sai kuma in ganshi a kwance akan gadon asibiti looking at me and taking his last breathe.
There is definitely soyayya tsakanin Umar da rashin bacci na. Duk rashin baccina yana da dangantaka da shi
Haka na hakura da baccin na tashi na kama sallah, sai na samu kaina da yiwa Umar addu'ar samun waraka da kuma addu'ar samun shiriya da gafarar ubangiji.
Washegari na tashi da ciwon kai, hakan ya saka na kira gurin aikina na samar musu ba zan samu zuwa ba. Da kyar na samu nayi breakfast a dakin Umma na kwanta akan kujerar ta, a haka Abba ya sauko ya tarar da ni kwance dafe da kai, sai kuma ya ce "yanzu baban yaron can ya kira ni wai ashe an kai shi asibiti tun jiyan bayan na baro gidan. Yanzu ma zuwa zanyi in duba shi" nace "to Baba. Bara in kirawo yaya Abbah sai ya kai ka a mota" ya fita waje ni kuma na fara kiran wayar Abbah sai Umma tace "wanne yaro yake nufi ne wai? Ba dai Umar ba ko?" Sai da na karasa magana a wayar sannan nace mata "eh Umar ne. Bashi da lafiya"
Tace "ba dai kokari ake a mayar da auren ku ba ko? Na ga babanku yana ta wani rawar kafa har da zuwa dubiya. To ni dai ban yarda ba, na riga na yi masa maganar Salem kuma na ga ya fara amincewa da maganar. So yake ya mayarda ke kema a cuce ki kamar yadda aka cuci Afia? Gaskiya ba zan yarda ba. Ba za'a yi min biyu ba fa. Da wanne zanji?"
Ni dai bance mata komai ba tunda ni bana jin akwai zancen komawar aure a tsakani na da Umar, kawai ita take maganar ta, amma kuma sai nayi mamakin duniya wai Umma ce take fadar wadannan maganganu? Lallai duniya makaranta.
Ina nan kwance har yara suka taso daga makaranta da yake Friday ce, sannan kuma sai ga Farhan ita ma tazo tirtsi tirtsi da tsohon ciki wai tazo zan rakata kasuwa siyayyar haihuwa. Zuwan ta ne ma ya saka na dan ware muna hira har muka ci abinci tare da ita da yara sannan sai ga Abba nan ya dawo. Ya sake lekowa falon Umma yana amsa gaisuwar Farhan sai kuma ya ce min "idan yamma tayi ki shirya da yara kuje ku duba shi" nace "to" ya fita. Farhan ta juyo tana kallona "waye za'a duba?" Umma tace "taya ni tambaya, nima neman amsa nake yi. Ita da ubanta ne suke kulle kullen su"
Sai da muka je dakina sannan na bawa Farhan labarin ciwon Umar, sai tace zata rakani mu dubo shi daga nan sai muje kasuwar. Sai da mukayi sallar la'asar sannan muka shirya yara muma muka shirya muka tafi a mota ta, Farhan tana ta yaba motar. A hanya na kira Mufida tayi min kwatancen asibitin da kuma dakin da yake.
Mama muka samu a kofar dakin a zaune, daga ganin idanuwan ta taci kuka ta gode Allah. Tana ganin mu ta mike da sauri tana jujjuya hannunta. Su Yasmin da basu san me ake ciki ba suka tafi da gudu suka rungume ta sannan Asad ya fara jera mata tambayoyin me take yi a asibiti
"Baki da lafiya ne Mama? Me yake damunki? Allura za'a yi miki? Mommy ta iya allura ki je gurinta tayi miki"
Sai muka rissina muma gaishe ta ni da Farhan, ta nuna mana dakin da Umar yake ciki amma sai naga ta rike yaran ta hana su shiga dan kar su dame shi.
Na shiga na tsaya a gefen Farhan ina kallon sa, yana kwance kamar yadda na hango shi a mafarki na yana numfashi sama sama da oxygen mask a fuskarsa. Idonsa a rufe amma daga dukkan alamu ba bacci yake yi ba.
Na fara takawa a hankali zuwa inda yake sai ya juyo da fuskar sa side dina sannan ya bude idonsa ya saka cikin nawa. Na karaso na tsaya gefensa sannan nace "sannu yaya Doctor. Ya jikin?"
Ya saka hannu ya zare oxygen mask din yana huhhura hanci alamar numfashin yana masa wahala yace "Baby Dove? Are you really here?"
Na ja kujera na zauna sannan na karbi mask din na mayar masa nace "ni ce mana. Ko ka dauka aljana ce" ya sake cire wa yace "ba aljana ba dai. Na dauka gizo kike min, ko kuma mafarki nake yi. Dama yanzu na gama mafarkin kinzo dubani, ina ta kokarin in koma baccin ko zan sake wani mafarkin amma baccin yaki zuwa"
Nace "gani ai nazo. Abba ne yace inzo in dubaka" ya danyi murmushi kadan "cruel. Why do you have to say Abba ne yace ki zo? Me yasa ba zaki ce min ke ce kika zo da kanki ba saboda kina son ki ganni?"
Na dauke kaina gefe nace "saboda ban iya karya ba" yace "ko da kuwa karyar zata yi saving rayuwar wani, duk da dai wanin bashi da sauran muhimmanci a gurin ki?"
Na juyo ina kallon sa nace "and who says ba ka da muhimmanci a gurina? Ni na fada maka haka?" Yace "ba fada kika yi ba. Gani nayi. That day dana ganki. I looked at your eyes and I saw nothing. There is no space left for me in your heart. A lokacin da ni kuma tawa zuciyar take cike da azaba, azabar son wadda bata son ta......."
Maganar ta tsaya masa saboda yadda numfashin sa yake fisga, nayi saurin mayar masa da oxygen mask din tare da cewa "ba ka jin magana Umar, ka daina magana"
Ya mayar da idonsa ya rufe yana daidaita numfashin sa. Ni kuma nayi amfani da damar gurin kare masa kallo ina lura da yadda komai na jikinsa ya chanja most importantly fuskarsa da har yanzu babu gashi a jikinta duk ya aske, bayan ni na san in akwai abinda Umar yake so a jikinsa yake kuma kula da shi to sajen sa ne.
Mun jima a haka sannan ya sake bude idonsa, now looking calmer yana kallona ni kuma sai na koma kallon hannunsa na dama wanda ada yake sanye da hand band dina for many years, yanzu sai naga hannun yana looking odd kamar ba nasa ba, sai kuma naga ya daga hannun ya sake cire oxygen din, nayi sauri zan mayar masa yace "please let me talk, I want to talk to you" na sauke hannuna kasa sai yace "is he a good man?" Na juyo ina kallon sa bance komai ba sai ya sake tambaya "wannan wanda kika kira da heartbeat din ki is he a good man"
Na fahimci wa yake nufi, na danyi tunani kadan sannan na ce "yes, I think he is" ya rufe idonsa "now I can rest in peace" na girgiza kaina "and who says you are going to die? Dan baka da lafiya ba hakan yana nufin zaka mutu bane ba, you are going to get better ka cigaba da rayuwar ka even better than you were doing, this is just a phase in your life and it will soon be over......"
Yace "without you, that is impossible..."
Na girgiza kaina da sauri "ba haka muka yi da kai ba Umar, kai ka ce min you will move on if I did, kai ka ce min zaka cigaba da rayuwar ka zaka auri mata hudu ma kace, kai ka........"
Yace "I was lying........ You know I can lie, right?"
Na dauke kaina daga kansa ina kallon gefe, ya kuma cewa "look at me...... does it look like I am moving on?"
Na mike tsaye da sauri nace "well, I am. I already have moved on. Please let me go. Please don't make me feel bad. You are already making me feel bad. You were good to me na sani, amma hakan ba shi yake nufin I must stay with you ba, hakan ba shi yake nufin I owe you my life ba. Dan Allah, let me go. Pull yourself together, find someone and be happy. Happiness dinka is not tied to me kamar yadda nawa is not tied to you"
Sai ya dauke idonsa daga kaina ya juya fuskarsa gefe, na koma na zauna a kujerar da nake ina sheshshekar kuka. Sai kuma na goge hawaye na nace "Umar. Bakada lafiya na sani. Allah ne zai baka lafiya na sani. Kuma ina yi maka addu'a kullum akan Allah ya baka lafiya ina kuma yi maka fatan dacewa a duniya da lahira. But I can't go back to being your wife. I can't. I am done"
Sai ya juyo yana kallon fuskata sannan yace "shikenan. I understand. But I just want you to promise me two things, na farko shine
