Author : MAMAN MAAMA Category : African Stories & Novels
gagara ta sannan na dago na kammala sallah ta nayi sallama. Sai na ganshi ya sauko daga kan gadon ya na durkushe a gaban gadon a kusa da sallaya ta, idonsa yayi jawur tamkar in aka watsa turaren wuta a ciki kamshi zai tashi.
Na dauke kaina daga kansa sannan na fara gabatar da adduoin rufe sallah kamar yadda nake yi kullum. Bai yi magana ba har na gama na mike da niyyar nade sallayar sannan in bar masa dakin tun kafin kallon fuskar sa ya saka zuciyata ta buga in mutu. Sai dai ina mikewa wani irin jiri ya debe ni, nayi sauri na dafe kaina da hannu daya dayan kuma na dafe bango dashi ina ambatar sunan Allah.
Na jima a haka kafin kaina yayi clearing jirin kuma ya rangwanta min, sai dana dawo hayyacina na lura a jikin Umar nake, ya zagayo hannunsa daya ta saman cikina ya rike ni tsam a jikinsa dayan kuma ya dora akan hannuna dana dafe kaina da shi. Shima yana maimaita abinda nake fada. "Innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun"
Na juya da sauri na tura shi baya da dan karfin da nake dashi. Kasancewar turewar da nayi masa tazo masa a bazata sai ya tafi da baya kamar zai fadi amma sai ya dafe jikin gado ya tsaya yana kallo na fuskar sa cike da tashin hankali.
"Jidda" ya kira sunana.
Na nuna shi "dan Allah, dan girman Allah Umar kar ka sake ambatar sunana bana son ji, dan Allah da girman Allah ka fita daga dakin nan bana son ganin ka, dan Allah dan girman Allah kar ka jawa yayana asara kayi musu sanadiyyar da zasu tashi marayu, na tabbatar in ina cigaba da ganin ka kuma ina cigaba da jin muryar ka to gobe za'a saka ni a kabari na, na tabbatar kafin gangar jikina ta fara decomposing kai already ka saka wata akan gadon ka, su kuwa sai dai su kasance yayan riko a gurin matar da zaka aura ko kuma a gurin wadda zata rike su a cikin dangi. Please ba dan ni ba, dan su, kuma dan Allah ka fita ka bani guri"
Ya rufe bakin da ya saka yana kallona sannan yayi kokarin clearing muryar sa yace "ba zan iya ba, ba zan iya fita in baki guri ba a wannan halin da kike ciki, you are sick Jidda, kin san kina da hawan jini ko? Ya zaki yi kiyi shiru kuma ba zaki yi min bayanin abinda ya faru ba ballantana in amsa laifina ko in karyata abinda banyi ba in kwantar miki da hankali? Please kiyi min magana Jidda, please kiyi min bayani dan barin magana a cikin ki ita ce zata cutar dake ba wai ganina ko jin muryata ba" .
Na sake sunkuya wa na dauki sallayar da na yar ban sani ba na fara ninke ta sai dana gama sannan na lura a baibai na ninke sai na warware na sake ninkewa sannan na ajiye, na cire hijab din jiki na na fara ninke shi shima amma sai ya zame ya fadi kasa, sai a lokacin na lura ashe karkarwa hannuna yake yi, na sunkuya zan dauka sai ya riga ni sunkuyawa ya riga ni dauka sannan ya ajiye shi a gefen gado, na wuce shi na sake daukan hijab din na cigaba da kokarin ninkewa ina jin yadda kaina yake wani irin sarawa sakamakon rike tunani na da nayi a guri daya not letting myself think, dan a tunani na in na bar kaina nayi tunanin mijina kwance da kawata to tabbas zan zama gawa.
Yakama hannuna ya karbe hijab din ya sake jefar dashi yace "don't do this please Jidda kar kiyi haka, kiyi fada kiyi kuka and hit me if you want, but ki fada min waye ya kira ki a waya, ki fada min waye ya saka min kayan can a mota, ki fada min waye ya chanja min wannan band din" ya karasa yana ciro abin daga hannunsa sannan yayi jifa dashi, fuskar sa tana nuna bacin rai, tsananin bacin rai.
Nace "waye ko wace? Kuma dan me zan zauna ina yi maka bayanin abinda na tabbatar ka fini sanin amsoshin, dan me zan bata raina da lokaci na da kuma yawun baki na a gurin yin maganar da ba zata amfane ni da komai ba sai karin takaici da bakin ciki, dan me zan baka damar yi min bayanin da already na riga na san amsar shi"
Sai ya sunkuya ya dauki band din da ya yar ya juya shi yana karanta sunan "Mery G" ya karanta a fili, "wacece wannan?" Ya fada yana nuna min abin "how in God's heaven did she changed my band" na daga kafada "ta yaya zanyi in san lokacin da ta saka maka, was I there?"
"Mery G" ya maimaita, "wannan abin na kawayen ku ne yan makarantar ku, kawar ki ce kenan, yar secondary school din ku" ya fada yana kallona kamar mai jiran in bashi amsa, sai kuma ya saki abin ya dafe kai, fuskar sa tayi jawur kamar yadda idonsa yayi
"wallahi sai na ci uban yarinyar nan, wallahi sai tasan ni tayi wa wannan sharrin"
Ya juyo yana kallo na "Jidda wallahi abin nan da kika gani a mota ba nawa bane ba" na wuce shi na zauna akan gado, yadda ya dauki zafi yana kara min takaici.
"Zan iya yarda cewa ba naka bane ba, zan kuma iya yarda cewa baka san yadda akayi kayan suka shiga motar ka ba, zata iya yiyuwa makirci ne ta shirya take so tayi maka sharri bla bla bla, amma ta yaya ta kama hannunka har ta chanja maka band din da ya kama hannunka ma ba rawa yake yi ba ba tare da ka sani ba? Can you explain that? Shin asiri tayi maka ko rufa ido tayi mana gabakidaya ko kuma tayi drugging dinka ne har ta chanja baka sani ba?"
Ya daga kafada "I don't know, maybe asirin ne ni ban sani ba, kuma it is very possible dan akwai mata, yammata da suke asiri dan su samu abinda suke so, kuma wannan bushashshiyar karmasashshiyar, kodaddiyar, jemammiyar, mokadaddiyar yarinyar babu abinda ba zata iya ba dan ta samu abinda take so"
Na gyara wa yayana kwanciyar su nima na kwanta ina jin ciwon kaina yana ƙaruwa nace "eh zata iya komai na sani, zata iya seducing dinka ma na sani, but the fact that you fall for it knowing well cewa kawata ce shine abinda yake cin zuciyata a yanzu. It is one thing ace ka nemi mace, some faceless nameless prostitute wadda ban sani ba kuma babu wata alaka a tsakani na da ita but it is totally a different issue ace ka nemi friend dina, a very close friend of mine for that matter" na fada ina jin wani irin ciwo mai zafi wanda tun dazu nake rikewa bana so in jishi, naji yana sukar zuciya ta.
Tabbas Maryam ta ci amana ta, amma Umar tasa cin amanar tafi girma a gare ni dan shine nafi kusanci da shi akan Maryam.
Tabbas ban yi zeroing mind dina ba akan cewa Umar kwata kwata ya daina halinsa, amma na saka ran cewa abin yayi sauki, kuma ban taba tsammanin cewa karuwa abin nasa yayi ba, karuwar da har zata kai shi ya kwanta da friend dina, ya kwanta da Maryam.
Na juya baya na dan bana so in cigaba da kuka a gabansa, bana so ma in cigaba da maganar dashi dan bana jin akwai abinda zai gaya min wanda zai saka in yarda da cewa bai nemi Maryam ba.
Ina jin sa ya dan zauna a bayana kadan, sai kuma ya mike yace "ban taba tunanin cewa gap din da muka samu a tsakanin mu har ya kai girman da wasu zasu shiga ciki ba. Yarinyar nan ta jima tana bina, idan baki yarda ba ki tambayi Mufida dan na sha gaya mata tayi mata warning ta daina bina in ba haka ba zan gaya miki, ban taba gaya miki din ba saboda kar ranki ya baci akan abinda nasan bashi da muhimmanci dan ni dai nasan bata gabana, ko san da ina neman matan ma ni wannan bata kai wadda zan neme ta ba wallahi ballantana yanzu da na riga na gaya miki na daina. And ina so ki sani cewa it hurts me so much that you think I can sleep with your friend"
Sai ya tashi ya fita. Na rufe idona ina barin hawaye na suna cigaba da zuba akan pillow na, wanda ya zamanto tamkar ma'ajiyar hawaye na.
Tabbas na san Maryam ce ta nemi Umar ta bashi kanta tabbas kuma na yarda da cewa ta jima tana binsa kamar yadda ya fada tunda Mufida ta riga ta fada min tun ranar nan, amma ko kadan ban yarda cewa bai yi din ba, tayi masa tayin kanta kyauta kuma ya karba yayi kamar yadda abokinsa ya taba fada cewa baya wuce tayi, sai dai ban dauka cewar tayin har da na kawayena ba.
Allah kadai yasan bayan Maryam din da waye da waye Umar ya ke nema a cikin wadanda na sani, kawayena, yan uwana da nasa, da kuma sauran abokan arziki, sai naji anya kuwa zan iya cigaba da shiga mutane? In na fita ma maybe nuna ni ake tayi ana cewa "ga matarsa can"
And one thought crossed my mind, what if yayan mu suka girma suma in sun fita ake nuna su ana cewa "ga yayansa can?"
Washegari bayan sallar asuba na jima akan sallaya ta ina zaune, ba wai doguwar addu'a nake yi ba a'a tunani kawai nake yi, tunani nake yi akan steps din dana fara dauka tun daga ranar dana tabbatar da situation din da nake ciki a gidan Umar.
Step na farko shine nayi accepting zama da Umar a matsayin kaddara ta, na rungumi shawarar da kullum ake bawa mace kafin da kuma bayan tayi aure "hakuri" sannan kuma na daura damarar yin iyakacin kokari na gurin gyara shi. A step na farko na fara da hakuri, addu'a, kokarin gyara masa ibadun sa da kuma kokarin gyara kaina dan inyi meeting da abinda yake nema a mace.
Bayan gwada wannan da kuma tabbatar wa cewa hakan is not enough for gyaran Umar sai na dora da step na biyu ba kuma wai na daina step na dayan bane ba. Step na biyu shine kokarin rabashi da mugayen abokai irin su Bashir da kuma raba shi da social media wadda nake ganin ita take kara taimakawa wajen hada shi da yammatan da yake nema din, na kuma yi kokarin ganin yayi aure which har yanzu he failed to do, amma still yanzu nayi finding out cewa abin nasa ma kamar gaba yayi ba baya ba. Yanzu it is time for me to go for my third step, wanda shine involving iyayensa a cikin maganar.
It is going to be my boldest step so far but I am going to do it, kamar yadda na riga na yanke cewa in wannan step din yayi failing shima I will go to step four wanda shine involving nawa iyayen wanda shine second to the last step dina, last step shine karshe, wanda ni kaina ban san menene a gurin ba sai naje din amma tabbas in dai har abubuwa basu gyaru ba to kuwa zanje gurin, zan bude wani page mai wahalar buduwa kuma zan rungume shi hannu bibbiyu.
Sai dai a raina ina fatan kar Allah yasa mu je ga last step din, ina saka ran insha Allah in maganar nan taje kunnen Baba da Mama zasu dauki mataki mai kyau wanda ni ba zan iya dauka ba dan su manya ne sun fi ni sanin abinda ya dace kuma sun fi ni sanin rayuwa sannan na tabbatar sun fini son Uma. Sannan kuma abu mafi muhimmanci shine addu'ar su, musamman addu'ar Mama wadda addu'ar ta bata da shamaki a gurin ubangiji a kansa, ko da addu'ar suka taimaka mana ina da kyakykyawan zaton al'amura zasu dai-dai ta insha Allah.
But ta yadda zan fara yi musu bayanin halin da ɗan su mafi soyuwa a zuciyoyin su yake ciki shine abinda ban sani ba.
Na dauko wayata na kunna data sannan na shiga WhatsApp, a raina ina yanke hukuncin ta nan zan yi mata dogon bayani yadda ba sai na yi facing dinta face to face ba kuma zan iya yi mata dogon bayani akan sms ko wasika.
Na shiga kan chats din mu da ita, sai na ga last seen dinta jiya ne kuma nasan yau ma zata hau dan tana active sosai a WhatsApp. Na lura da dp dinta hoton Yasmin da Asad ne na ranar 2nd birthday din Yasmin.
Na fara rubutu, na fara da sallama da gaisuwa da kuma dogon bayani na yadda suke da muhimmanci a gurin mu sai kuma na dora da zancen muna bukatar taimakon su, na fara bayanin yadda na fara fuskantar halin da Umar yake ciki da kuma confessing din ya yayi min at last cewa he is addicted to sex, da abubuwan da suka yi ta faruwa bayan nan har zuwa matsayin da muke ciki a yanzu, na kuma roke ta data saka baki a cikin maganar, tayi masa fada kuma ta saka Baba yayi masa fada sannan kuma suke yi masa addu'a gabakidaya.
Nayi kusan minti talatin ina rubutun, ina tsara komai ina kuma rubuta komai cikin kalaman da nake ganin zata fahimta ba kuma wadanda suka yi tsauri da yawa ba.
Ina gama wa na ganta ta hau online, kawai sai na danne alamar X na rike ta har sai da na goge rubutun kaf sannan na dauke hannuna tare da sauke ajjiyar zuciya.
Wato fadar ma ba zan iya yi ba kenan.
Na mike na fita daga dakin na shiga kitchen na fara hada masa breakfast, pancakes nayi masa na dama masa custard na kai na ajiye masa akan dining table sai na tafi dakinss na tarar yana wanka, na gyara gadon na goggoge abubuwan da suka yi kura sannan na dauko masa kaya na fesa mudu turare na ajiye masa a bakin gado, sai na koma palo na fara aikin gyaran gida cikin sauri, sai da na gama share palo da dining room da kitchen sannan sai gashi ya fito, fes da shi yana ta bada kamshi abinsa ya zauna akan kujera yana kallona ina goge kayan kallo sai yace "yau so nake in fita da wuri inaso in zagaya in yi surveying schools inga wadda zamu saka Yasmin, both islamic schools da boko, I want her to have the very best of education"
Ko kallon inda yake banyi ba na cigaba da aikina ina jin raina yana matukar baci, wai shi a nasa tunanin shikenan maganar ta wuce? Shikenan har ya gama da wannan babin saura wani kuma? And I found myself wondering wanne ne next kuma?
Ya taso ya kunna tv. "Ya kamata mu fara kallon news a gidan nan, ki rage kallon indians din nan ki koma sanin halin da duniya take ciki"
Na ajiye duster din hannuna na bar masa gurin, it is more than I can take, wato this is the new normal for him, in yayi ma abin ya daina pretending to care, ya koma pretending as if nothing happened.
Har na shiga corridor naji ya kira ni, na juyo ina kallon sa sai yace "abinci" na nuna masa dining "a can ake ajiyewa" ya zauna akan kujera "kawo min nan" na dawo na dauko table na saka masa a gaban sa na shimfida yar karamar table mat akai sannan na dauko abincin na jera masa akai, na dago kai naga ni yake kallo nace "sai menene kuma?" Yace "saura ki zuba min" ya fada yana selecting channel din da zai kalla, na zuba masa pancakes din na zuba masa zuma a dan karamin saucer na hada masa custard din a cup na tura masa gabansa, ganin hankalin sa yana kan tv sai na saka wani plate din na rufe pancakes din na tashi zan bar gurin sai kuma ya dawo da hankalin sa kan abincin ya dauke plate din da na rufe masa ya rike a hannunsa yana kallon kan table din "wannan a ina zan ajiye shi?"
Na tsaya da tafiyar da nake yi, na juyo ina kallon sa kamar yadda yake kallo na shima sai kuma yayi murmushi yace "kin shagwaba ni da yawa, ban san yadda ake komai ba, ki zo dan Allah ki zauna muci tare, kin ga ni yanzu bansan inda zan ajiye wannan ba" na rike kugu ina kallon sa "a tsakiyar kaina zaka dora shi ko kuma ka gwada hadiye shi maybe zai taimaka maka to shut off"
Ya saki baki yana kallo na sai na zagaye shi na wuce zuwa kitchen na dauki duster na fara goge work top da sauri, ban lura ma da kuka nake ba sai fa naji na fara jan hanci ganina kuma yayi dusu dusu sannan na shafa fuskata naji hawaye, na ajiye duster din hannuna na kifa kaina a jikin worktop din, ban ankara ba naji hannun sa a baya na.
"Jidda? Wai kuka kike yi? Wai duk bayanin da nayi miki jiya baki fahimce ni ba"
Na juyo ina kallon sa, "na fahimce ka mana Umar, ba dai kana so ka gaya min cewa ta shirya makirci ne ta faki idonka ta saka maka kaya a mota ba? Ba dai kana son kace abin da na gani a cikin condom ba naka bane ba na wani namijin ne wanda ni da kai bamu sani ba? Ba dai kana son kace tayi amfani da tsafi bane ba har ta chanja band dina da yake hannunka ya koma na ta ba? Wadannan sune maganganun da kake so in fahimta? Tabbas na fahimta Umar"
Ya sake ni yayi taku biyu baya "ba zaki gane ba, ba zaki gane zafin da zuciyata take yi ba akan cewa kin zabi yarda da maganganun ta akan nawa, amma zan fita kuma zan binciko ta yadda ta chanja band din sannan inzo inyi miki bayani am sure sai kinji kunyar kin yarda da ni da kika yi, wannan condom
